I am not sure where to start with this one.
Day by day I struggle to not beat myself up over past mistakes. I struggle with staying positive and believing in myself. I struggle with the fear that everything could come crashing down.
I know why I am like this and I know it is not my fault.
I was dealt a bad hand, that’s as obvious as the sky is blue. I grew up with little to no parental supervision, support, love, guidance, or affection, and a lot of negativity. I learned everything late in life, relatively speaking, from friends and their families, teachers, coaches, etc. It wasn’t until my mid-twenties that I learned one is supposed to brush their teeth twice a day.
With all that being said, I think it’s obviously my stack of mistakes may be higher than the next, relatively speaking of course. And this is what I struggle with. I struggle with thinking I should be perfect, and I shouldn’t have made certain mistakes in life. I struggle with accepting that I am a result of conditioning which shaped who I am today. I struggle with being kind to myself.
Despite my struggles, I know I need to make proactive changes to get better, to BE better.
My upbringing does not need to shape my future. That is the past and it needs to be left in the past.
Nonetheless, the fight is hard. I mean look at the world we live in. We’re engulfed with hatred and negativity every day.
So, what can we do to love ourselves and make this world a better place?
-Choose kindness, always
-Love yourself, always
-Protect yourself, always
My intention with this post is NOT to obtain sympathy or a pity party. My intention is to share my personal struggles in an attempt to help someone else in the world. We only get one life. One chance to make it all worth it. And I want to spend my time being the best version of myself.
All in all, “if you don’t love yourself, who will?”
I hope one day I will overcome my struggles and learn to love myself, in the meantime, I will enjoy the ride. 🙂